BOOK REVIEW: Peter Criss "Makeup to Breakup"

MAKEUP TO BREAKUP:

My Life In And Out Of Kiss

Peter Criss w/ Larry Sloman

Scribner

 

The latest in the ever-growing pile

of insider Kiss tell-alls, Makeup to

Breakup offers a lively and candid

account of founding drummer

Peter Criss' wild sex, drugs &

rock and roll life—before, during, after, during, after, before,

during and then again after

his involvement with rock's iconic

masked messiahs. And based

on the sheer entertainment/shock value

of his stories, this is a slam dunk winner

for die-hard Kiss enthusiasts. 

____________________________________________________________

From his humble Italian/Catholic upbringing on the streets of Brooklyn to his meteoric ascent into rock's stratosphere and beyond, Peter Criss describes his outrageous life experiences — warts and all — in graphic detail. He pulls no punches as he seemingly drops a dime on everyone he's encountered over the years — including himself and the three other original Kiss members. By his own admission, we learn that Criss deals with some serious anger issues.  Founding lead guitarist Ace Frehley is portrayed as  a Nazi-obsessed  chronic masturbater. Co-founder and bassist Gene Simmons reportedly is such a sex-addicted maniac that during particularly severe flare-ups, herpes sores can cover most of his body. And Criss further claims that frontman Paul Stanley has wrestled with lifelong sexual orientation issues.

Despite his willingness to come clean regarding personal demons (i.e. infidelity, wife beating, drugs and alcohol), Criss' scale of judgment is often unbalanced. He openly questions Paul Stanley's sexual preference early in the story, revealing the frontman's unique talent for creating detailed drawings of penises. Yet his own, more disturbing behavior, as well as that of Ace Frehley gets a pass: Ace and I became famous for taking out our dicks at the drop of a hat. Then we'd grab each other's dicks. It wasn't sexual, just stupid adolescent tomfoolery. What? Not sexual? Hang on there, fella. Where I come from that ain't called, "tomfoolery," that's called gay. I'm not judging, I'm just saying.

Criss recounts a particular Kiss road story from the mid '70s in which he and Frehley got a young female after-show guest bombed  beyond the point of consciousness. They covered the girl with bologna and sandwich condiments, then proceeded to put her seemingly lifeless naked body into  the hotel elevator and hit the button for the lobby. It was disturbing tales such as this that frequently made me feel  like a dope for having  gleefully guzzled so much Kiss Kool-Aid for so many years.                           Kiss circa 1976

I found Criss' conversational, no-nonsense style to be quite engaging. However, I was a bit disappointed that such a successful and talented (sixty-six-year-old) man still resorts to juvenile name-calling. I believe that referring to people as "fags" and "whores" and prefacing every reference to Simmons and Stanley with, "those pricks" or "those fuck faces," only compromises Criss' credibility. And his countless references to women as "pussy" was insulting and just plain creepy. That type of language was crass even back in the '70s.

I can only  imagine that jamming a near fifty-year career into 370 pages was no easy feat. Hence, Criss' story is fast-paced and he often quickly glosses over prime eras. And although Criss did successfully touch on most aspects of his life, many holes remained in his story. Jeanette Frehley receives "special thanks" in the Acknowledgments, but she is only briefly referenced one time in the rest of the book. I'd be interested in gaining further insight into their friendship. Clearly Criss enjoyed close personal relationships  with Kiss manager Bill Aucoin, Casablanca Records founder Neil Bogart and songwriter/producer Sean Delaney — key players in the Kiss story who all died way too young. However, Criss makes no mention of their passing. And if Paul McCartney had rescued me during any kind of accident, I certainly would have devoted more than a casual, one paragraph description of the experience. But I commend Criss for taking the time to give credit where it's due — shining light on the creative Kiss contributions of Aucoin and Delaney.

It seems that perhaps the greatest source of darkness in Criss' life was, and may continue to be, not  sex, drugs or  rock and roll, but  the emotional damage caused by religion. Guilt, condemnation and punishment, was beat into him practically from birth by priests, nuns and even well-intending family members.

Fortunately, Jesus Christ served as THE ultimate, perfect and final sacrifice. He paid for ALL sins — past, present and future when the religious people of his day crucified him.

The ONLY way to the Father is through the Son (JOHN 3:16 / 1 JOHN 5:12) Rosaries do nothing. And I certainly mean no disrespect, but praying to Mary is as effective as praying to an Ace Frehley action figure. That's all a product of man-made religion. What I'm talking about is relationship  — a unique and personal connection with God the Father through his Son, Jesus Christ. Salvation is the greatest gift ever offered to man. It's available to us ALL — and it's absolutely FREE!

And contrary to Criss' assertions, God does NOT place cancer or any sickness on people for any reason. To think otherwise is to buy into more religion — another lie sent straight from the pit of Hell. I'd be delighted to offer encouragement, inspiration and guidance based on the Word of God to anyone in need. I'm easily accessible: AuthorChristopherLong@yahoo.com

In sum, Peter Criss exceeded my expectations. Makeup to Breakup is a highly entertaining read throughout. And although many aspects of Criss' story are certainly disturbing, Makeup to Breakup stands out as the second-best of the Kiss bios — right behind CK Lendt's Kiss and Sell.

 

-Christopher Long

(October 2012)

Author Christopher Long's latest book

C'MON! - My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation

is available NOW on Amazon.