MOVIE REVIEW: "Bad Teacher"



Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher

Still reeling from the disappointment of The Hangover II, I continue my quest for the great comedy flick of the summer. So I attended an opening day showing of Bad Teacher, directed by Jake Kasdan and starring Cameron Diaz.
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If nothing else, Bad Teacher offers a bold commentary on today’s culture. In short, the movie goes the distance to project the message that as long as you’re a hot chick who dresses like a stripper -- even a forty-year-old hot chick who dresses like a stripper, you can do no wrong -- no matter what. In fact, there’s absolutely nothing endearing about Diaz’s character -- Elizabeth Halsey, a junior high school teacher, obsessed with financing her boob job -- at all costs. Simply put, Halsey is an unlikable, lying, cheating, self-centered, alcoholic, drug-using gold-digger who is nothing but nasty to everyone in her life -- including her tweenage students. But she’s a hot chick who dresses like a stripper, so the fact that she’s a horrible person is somehow okay. Throughout the film, Halsey is pursued by the gym teacher, Russell Gettis, played by Jason Segel. But for the life of me I don’t understand the attraction -- except for the fact that Halsey is a hot chick who dresses like a stripper. When Halsey gets busted for stealing the answers to an upcoming state student exam, she gets off scott-free -- which we're led to believe is awesome ’cuz, remember, she’s a -- well you get the idea. And when she’s confronted by another teacher whose only apparent crime is being a happy and positive person, the audience applauds when Halsey triumphs. Even Justin Timberlake’s character, a goody-two-shoes substitute teacher named Scott Delacourt, is portrayed as a dolt, until Halsey succeeds in leading him to compromise his values.

To be fair, I must admit that Bad Teacher does have several laugh-out-loud moments. However, there were just enough of those to justify spending the $4 on my discounted matinee ticket. Actually, this could have been a worthwhile film, but like so many others these days, a potentially clever story was sacrificed and dumbed-down in order to appeal to the lowest common denominator. My quest continues.

-Christopher Long
(June 2011)

Author Christopher Long's latest book
C'MON! - My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation
is available NOW on Amazon.

TRANSLATIONS

My cousin Dorothy and her awesome
family at my Orlando book signing.

I was faced with a certain spiritual dilemma following my "awakening" last year. I was "hungry" for the Word of God, however, I had difficulty connecting with the language used in my tried and true King James Version (KJV).

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Fortunately, my cousin Dorothy had a solution. Dorothy and her family attended my book signing in Orlando, FL in April 2010. I’d mentioned to Dorothy previously my anxieties regarding the KJV. At the end of the event, she handed me a colorful gift bag with fancy tissue paper sticking out of the top, containing a new Bible — a New Living Translation (NLT). This was a version even I could understand and it was exactly what I needed.

 

Just as we all enjoy unique personal relationships with our earthly fathers, we likewise all have special connections to our spiritual Father. Consequently, I don't believe that any particuar version of the Bible is a one-size-fits-all translation.

 

Although the language used in the KJV is certainly beautiful, I struggled with the "verilies," "heretos" and "therefores." Yet with its streetwise simplicity, I began burning through my NLT like a hot knife through butter. Here's just one example of the differences between the KJV and the NLT...

MATTHEW 17:20
(KJV)

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you , If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain , Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

(NLT)

You don't have enough faith, Jesus told them. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.

I'm certainly NOT suggesting that any one translation is better than another. I'm merely suggesting that if you too "hunger" for the Word of God, but feel overwhelmed, there are several options and I encourage everyone to seek out he version that best "speaks" to them.

-Chris

Author Christopher Long's latest book

C'MON! - My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation

is available NOW on Amazon

HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME!

 

Ah yeah, it's that amazing time of year once again.

But before I become completely consumed

with barbeques, beach

outings and what's

shaping up to be a

hectic summer appearance schedule, I'd

like to take a moment

and reflect on this past 

holiday weekend.

 

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MEMORIAL DAY

Both Memorial Day and Veteran's Day are important holidays to me. We waste so much time and energy in this country glorifying tabloid-type hacks that we often lose sight of who the TRUE American heroes really are -- the brave men and women in uniform who have served, continue to serve, and in many cases, given their lives for our country.

I remember being a kid in the early 1970s and seeing the soldiers on TV returning home from Vietnam. I also remember how badly many of them were treated by the very people whom they risked their lives to protect.

In my humble opinion, ANYONE who serves our country in the Armed Forces deserves to be treated like a king or queen upon his or her return home. The fact that so many American Vets are homeless and are denied proper medical treatment is an outrage. Personally, I'd gladly cough up extra scratch in taxes to ensure that these people are treated like the heroes they are -- for life.

Thank you, Vets. Thanks for doing the job that I didn't have the balls to do. God bless you all!



Me and my son Jesse.
(2011)

BUT "SERIOS"-LY FOLKS

Last Sunday, my longtime award-winning band Dead Serios reunited for a special charity fundraiser in Palm Bay, Florida. This was a particularly rewarding experience for three reasons.

1. After twenty-six years, it's still fun to get together with my old bandmates once a year, act like fools, rock hard and prove once again why we're still the greatest band on earth. Just sayin'!

2. The event raised a ton-o-cash for The Genesis House, a fabulous organization located in Melbourne, Florida.

3. And last but not least, I was thrilled to have my seventeen-year-old son, Jesse, onboard and onstage with me as our fill-in drummer for the show. He's simply an incredible rock solid player!

Chris Johnson leading the Concert
of Worship at ECCC.

EAST COAST ROCK

Despite the understandable current public apathy regarding the live music scene on Florida's Space Coast, I'm delighted to report that there IS something exciting going on -- although it ain't being heard in any bar or nightclub.

The music program being presented at East Coast Christian Center located in Merritt Island, Florida is absolutely on fire. Any cynic who thinks "Christian" rock is somehow less compelling, less relevant or less edgy than the "vomit" rock that the world currently has to offer, needs to check out what's happening at East Coast. Last night's Concert of Worship for an Audience of One was simply amazing.

Well, that's it for now. I gotta get busy. If I don't complete my review of the new Nazareth record today, my editor at Ink 19 will have my head on a platter!

Until next time...

-Chris

Author Christopher Long's latest book,

C'MON! - My Story of Rock, Ruin and Revelation

is available NOW on Amazon.