Thursday, September 5, 2013

Top Ten Items NEVER to Buy at a Thrift Store!

Top Ten Items NEVER
to Buy at a Thrift Store!

I've been the (self-
proclaimed) "Thrift 
Store King" since long 
before that record became
a hit. As a result, it's my 
civic duty to provide this 
post as a public service.

From an endless selection of slightly stained "I'm with Stupid" T-shirts to a vast assortment of used audio cassette and VHS tapes to electronics, home furnishings and countless other desirable knick-knacks, thrift stores provide the goods that enrich our lives. In fact, they are perhaps one of God's greatest gifts to Man. However, many items found at your local thrift outlet might be better purchased new, in a more traditional retail setting. Hence, I've created this list — The Top Ten Items NEVER to Buy at a Thrift Store! (I personally took each photo at an actual thrift store in my Florida hometown.)

Anything in a Rusty Can

Even if the price is right — buyer beware!


Whether it's from a thrift store or a
Ringling Bros. meet-and-greet, clowns are
ALWAYS creepy and NEVER a good idea.

Hair Care-Type Products

FYI, these guys had hair when 
they came in. Just sayin'.


Some things shouldn't need to be said.
But I guess that they do!

Skin Care Products

Especially when it's being sold in a
half-empty container and the gooey
contents now resemble old mustard.


Large or small, sexy or conservative,
men's or women's — buying your
brassieres and boxers at a thrift
store is wrong — on EVERY level!


I know what horrors were lurking
inside my last pair of sneakers —
that's why I threw them out. And I
certainly don't want anyone else's!

Diabetes Test Kit

I'm not making any of these up, folks!
Do I really need to expound on this one?


Poor ol' Polly didn't even
make it from the display aisle
to the check-out counter.

Athletic Supporter

The name alone (Nutty Buddy) warranted
the top slot for this item. I'd be nuts to
try to offer a witty caption for this one.
Unfortunately, I just don't have the balls.

So there ya go, kids. I hope that you found this post to be both informative and helpful. Are there any other items you can think of? Feel free to discuss among yourselves and then comment below.

-Christopher Long
(September 2013)

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  1. Wow...I've only seen 2 of those items in a thrift shop...Shoes and fake clowns. But, rest assured if I ever saw any of the other items there, I would keep moving on. A half eaten box of doughnuts was in a thrift store? WOW! How much did they want for it? lol

  2. I bet the pastry was just the intended snack of someone who worked at the store?