Wednesday, May 29, 2013

MOVIE REVIEW: "Fast & Furious 6"

Fast & Furious 6

Just when you thought
maybe, just maybe the 
V-neck craze was 
fizzling, The Rock's
massive pecks and Vin 
Diesel's mammoth biceps 
have returned to the 
silver screen to bring 
the flava back home!

Those wacky, fast-driving, crime-busting misfits are back with an all-new thriller that once again will put movie goers on the edge of their seats... sorta.

Actually, the Fast & Furious franchise is a series of silly movies made for silly people who love silly movies. Hence, I made sure to experience the latest installment in short order. After all, the only real competition facing Fast & Furious 6 during its Memorial Day, summer blockbuster kick-off, opening weekend was The Hangover Part III, and not even someone as silly as me is silly enough to fall for that trick — again. Now, I'm not suggesting that F&F6 is the silliest movie ever. In fact, the plot was every bit as gripping as any in the Scary Movie franchise.

Street-racing fugitives fight international terror
 in this summer's comedic blockbuster.
Yo! Whadup? I'm Tej, and I gots mad technology.
(Now bring me some chicken and beer, bee-atch!)
The coupon said, "30 Minutes or Less," yo.
A film of this caliber requires an all-star cast of master thespians who can remain straight-faced while reciting comedic dialog. As a result, the acting was easily well above that of even the finest '80s porno flick. And I now know with absolute certainty where Tyrese Gibson will be, come Oscar night!

And what a value — the catfight scenes alone between Norah Jones and Gretchen Wilson totally made this epic worth the $7 admission price.

But seriously folks, despite the realistic aspects of the film (i.e., Vin Diesel flying through the air in the aforementioned V-neck, leaping from a speeding car, catching a babe with one arm and placing her safely atop another speeding car), the special effects and The Rock's non-enhanced, Hulk-like physique were simply incredible. Yes, Fast & Furious 6 is an amazing looking piece of work indeed. But most importantly, Paul Walker remains as cute as a bug's ear and Jordana Brewster is still hot enough to melt stone.

-Christopher Long
(May 2013)

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  1. Great review Chris. No matter what, it's still a really enjoyable movie that's a welcome addition to the summer movie season.

    1. You 'da man, Dan!

      FYI, your passionate review was the deciding factor in my opting to pass on "The Hangover III." Thanks for the heads-up!


  2. I think I will wait until it shows up as a Redbox Rental, and "The Hangover III," I am sure it will be on Netflix soon enough...