Thursday, October 25, 2012


Words Hurt!

I make no bones regarding my political positions. I'm a hardcore right winger. I believe that Nixon, Reagan and both Bushes were amazing presidents and strong leaders. I supported Michele Bachmann in the current presidential race, up until the moment that she wussed-out prematurely. And I will support her again when she makes another bid for the White House in 2016. And next week, I will hang my chad gleefully for Mitt Romney, as there simply will be no other legit candidate listed on the ballot. Yeah, I'm one of those self-righteous, phobic conservative-types who Maddows, Mahers and Behars warn the smart people about.

However, much of the thrill I derive from the "sport" of politics is based on its entertainment factor. And make NO mistake  I put people BEFORE politics! I've maintained with fervor (and consistency) in various columns and web posts over the past year that I believe Americans have grown to make far too much of their political views  to the point of becoming consumed by mean-spirited name-calling, bickering and mud-slinging. Hence, I've implored Republicans, Democrats, and Independents alike to put aside partisan foolishness and to come together, to connect as Americans in the spirit of love, kindness and compassion. Sadly, few are picking up what I'm putting down.

Much of this turmoil is being fueled by our beloved nationally-known talking heads who reside on both sides of the political fence  gurus with wildly popular television and radio programs and powerful author / speaker platforms. In a November 2011 post, I referenced the distasteful and disparaging comments currently flooding radio airwaves by conservative talk show hosts who portray anyone with opposing views as "morons" and "idiots." In a column this past March, I also conveyed my disappointment in Rush Limbaugh for choosing to refer to a particular woman as a "slut" during an on-air rant. But as I've said numerous times before, you libs are just as guilty.

Believe me, I appreciate "shock" and "entertainment" value. And this type of content certainly boosts ratings and effectively stirs up the fringe element within the audience. But in the long run, it does  nothing in terms of rescuing lost sheep. In fact, ultimately, it only causes further divisiveness within our nation. And if I'm turned off by such nasty, lowbrow banter, I can only imagine how the opposing team views it.

My ex-fiance Ann Coulter
As many of my readers are well aware, I've been in an admitted and committed long-term (delusional) relationship with conservative eye-candy commentator, speaker and author Ann Coulter for quite some time. In fact, I fantasized that we're engaged. I had even booked an awesome Loverboy tribute band to perform at our imaginary wedding reception that was set to take place at my local yacht club early next year. However, given her well-publicized recent Tweet, the flame now has fizzled officially.

During last Monday's presidential debate, Ann posted this comment on her Twitter page:

This type of commentary is hurtful
and only compromises one's credibility.

National news outlets such as The Washington Post, The Huffington Post and CNN immediately jumped on the story, and in no time, public outrage (rightfully) ensued. But Ann was quick to defend her comment by saying, “The only people who will be offended are too retarded to understand it.” Really? Wow, I don't know which is more offensive, Ann's original statement, or her follow-up defense.

I have several family members and close friends who struggle with disabilities. Yet despite the obstacles they're forced to overcome throughout their lives  day-to-day stuff  that us "normal" folks tackle successfully and effortlessly, they kick ass consistently — WITH dignity! In fact, the only times I've seen them knocked down, hurt or defeated are when a bully on the playground or a redneck at the mall calls them a "retard." It was a hurtful and ignorant word when we were kids, it was hurtful and ignorant in The Hangover and it was hurtful and ignorant when Ann Coulter blurted it on Twitter the other night. I don't care how she spins it.

When my friends criticize my imaginary relationship with Ann Coulter (and they do it a lot), I say, "Aw, you just don't know her like I do." And when they say that she's cold-hearted, hateful and nasty (and they say that a lot), I say, "You just don't know my Ann." Well, maybe they do know her, pretty good.

As a current Bible College student, I know and abide by the Word of God. Hence, I forgive Ann for making these comments and for hurting people who I love. But as for our personal relationship, we're finished the wedding is off! Now, does anybody have Erin Burnett's phone number? I need a rebound — quick!

-Christopher Long
(October 2012)

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