Friday, September 21, 2012



Heralded as "The biggest
thing to happen to iPhone
since iPhone," the top-
brass at Apple, as well as
legions of tech-savvy fans
worldwide are wringing
their hands in great
anticipation as the new
iPhone 5 is unveiled
 today. But, for some of
us, it's just another day.

 Yikes, I have been left behind in a trail of iDust! But until just (very) recently, I actually considered myself rather tech-savvy — possessing the ability to send and receive email, take photos and yes, even place calls via my wireless, cellular, flip phone device.

However, I was hanging out with my church buddy Neil this past summer, when I whipped out my device and began proudly demonstrating my ability to check email — from my phone! But instead of "oohs" and "ahhs," Neil responded with a snicker and referred to me as, "Mr. Flip Phone." And I didn't believe that he meant it as a term of endearment. Before long, others at my church (including  the cool  kids) also began calling me by this same new nickname. And I soon realized that I had, in fact, missed the iBoat.

My awesome flip phone offers many
state-of-the-art features, including
the option to make phone calls.
But as I take in today's TV news images depicting throngs of iPhone enthusiasts lined up at stores throughout the world, eager to trample their fellow man in order to be the first to score Apple's latest advancement, I'm reminded of a wonderful time before our society became consumed by this obsession with iGadgets. It was a simpler life prior to the complications of convenience. It was an era  before the realization of our absolute need to access vital information immediately on demand, 24/7 riveting must-know data such as Facebook posts regarding who's gonna be at da club tonight, photos of angry babies flipping the bird or a soft-core porno clips of a scantily-clad so-called pop stars, gagged and handcuffed while being paddled by midgets.

I remember being the first family on the block to get color TV back in the '60s and growing up in the '70s before "network" became a verb. I recall the '90s  back when cell phones were owned only by an elite few and they were the size of toasters! Heck, I remember the days before there even were cell phones. GASP! How on earth did anyone survive?

In a related side story, I was engaged in a dialogue earlier in the week with my girlfriend, regarding her own potential cell phone options. Suddenly, my über tech-savvy 18-year-old son, Jesse, chimed in with a bit of personal advice. "Go for the iPhone. It will change your life," he offered with considerable gusto. Really? As 40-somethings, I had to consider just how much "change" we can truly embrace.

Say what you will. Call me a "creepy old guy" or call me "out of touch." Either way, the fact remains that in today's ever-changing technological world, the awesome devices that some will so gleefully sell their souls to possess today, will be about as current and relevant as my Foghat 8-Track tapes within a matter of months. Take it from "Mr. Flip Phone" himself!

-Christopher Long
(September 2012)

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