Friday, September 21, 2012


Heralded as "The biggest
thing to happen to iPhone
since iPhone," the top-brass
at Apple, as well as legions
of tech-savvy fans worldwide
are wringing their hands
in great anticipation as the
new iPhone 5 is unveiled
 officially today. However,
for some of us, it's just
another day.
My awesome flip phone offers many state-of-the-art
features, including the option to make phone calls.
Yikes, I have been left behind in a trail of iDust! But until just (very) recently, I actually considered myself rather tech-savvy possessing the ability to send and receive email, take photos and yes, even place calls via my wireless, cellular,  flip phone device.
However, I was hanging out with my buddy Neil at East Coast Christian Center in Merritt Island, Florida this past summer, when I whipped out my device and began proudly demonstrating my ability to check email from my phone! But instead of "oohs" and "ahhs," Neil responded with a snicker and referred to me as, "Mr. Flip Phone." And I didn't believe that he meant it as a term of endearment. Before long,  others  at my church (including  the cool  kids) also began calling me by this same new nickname. And I soon realized that I had, in fact, missed the iBoat.
But as I take in today's TV news images depicting throngs of iPhone enthusiasts lined up at stores throughout the world, eager to trample their fellow man in order to be the first to score Apple's latest advancement, I'm reminded of a wonderful  time before  our society  became consumed by  this obsession with iGadgets. It was a simpler life prior to the complications of  convenience. It was an era  before  the realization of  our  absolute need to access vital information immediately on demand, 24/7 riveting must-know data such as Facebook posts regarding who's gonna be at da club tonight, photos of angry babies flipping the bird or a soft-core porno clips of a scantily-clad so-called pop stars, gagged and handcuffed while being paddled by midgets.
I remember being the first family on the block to get color TV back in the '60s and growing up in the '70s before "network" became a verb. I recall the '90s  back when cell phones were owned only by an elite few and they were the size of toasters! Heck, I remember the days before there even were cell phones. GASP! How on earth did anyone survive?

In a related side story, I was engaged in a dialogue earlier in the week with my girlfriend, regarding her own potential cell phone options. Suddenly, my ├╝ber tech-savvy 18-year-old son, Jesse, chimed in with a bit of personal advice. "Go for the iPhone. It will change your life," he offered with considerable gusto. Really? As 40-somethings, I had to consider just how much "change" we can truly embrace.
Say what you will. Call me a "creepy old guy" or call me "out of touch." Either way, the fact remains that in today's ever-changing technological world, the awesome devices that some will so gleefully sell their souls to possess today, will be about as current and relevant as my Foghat 8-Track tapes within a matter of months. Take it from "Mr. Flip Phone" himself!
-Christopher Long
(September 2012)
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