Christopher Long: ERIN BURNETT: The Hottest Chick Ever?

Turbo-Fox, Erin Burnett

I was asked by a longtime friend and business associate, named Jeff, to house-sit for him last week while he went on an action-packed, fun-filled trip to Las Vegas with his girlfriend. At first, I thought that this merely was to be the typical, bring in the mail, pick up the newspaper, care for the pets-type gig. But given the almost parent/child dynamic of the relationship between Jeff and his dog, Bandit, I discovered that this commitment would require me practically to move into his house for ten days until he returned home to Florida in order to offer Bandit near 'round-the-clock care and attention. Since Jeff and I only live a few blocks from each other, I reasoned that although there would be a bit of an inconvenience factor involved, the proposition was certainly doable. Plus, the money Jeff was offering me was pretty appealing. Yeah, I know, we are friends, but as I said, we are also business associates. And accepting his generous financial offer made sound business sense.

I had TV capability disconnected from home years ago — simply put, it was becoming a service that I perceived as being just too dumb to pay for. (Have you SEEN TV lately?) What TV viewing I have experienced at other places in recent years is usually limited to news-related programs. In fact, I frequently stay up late at my girlfriend's house, bouncing back and forth between MSNBC for its comedic value, CNN for general info and FOX for the truth.

I first recall noticing a particular young woman a few years ago co-hosting the CNBC business program, Squawk on the Street — her name was Erin Burnett. As someone whom I will respectfully describe as a rather "fetching" anchor, this foxy brunette with sparkling blue eyes and pristine white teeth soon began making random appearances on MSNBC's Morning Joe program — I was intrigued.

I love when Erin is feeling feisty!

The coolest aspect about staying at Jeff's house was that he has a 950.2" TV, and the picture is crystal clear. As I surfed through 1,565.4 channels (Jeff goes for the deluxe satellite service) on my first night, I came across the slew of my favorite news shows. And then, there she was — in full-on, wall-to-wall, HD glory — Erin Burnett, hosting her new CNN program, OutFront.

On my girlfriend's 27" TV, this thirty-five-year-old Maryland native is a stunning beauty, but on Jeff's mega-set, I quickly recognized that Erin Burnett is a goddess — perhaps the hottest chick EVER! Simply put, Bandit wasn't the only one sitting on the couch drooling last week. (But in a respectful, non-lustful manner, of course!)

And here's the kicker — she's really smart too. In fact, she uses such big and fancy words that Bandit and I typically curled up in front of the set with our respective treats and a handy thesaurus, just to keep up — I love a woman who can challenge me!

But be sure that my feelings for Erin are genuine and pure, and should not be confused with my obsession with Susan Dey in the early 70s, my affection for Debbie Gibson in the late 80s or my fascination with the Olsen twins throughout the 2000s. No, I'm sure that this is the real deal!

When Erin is happy — I'm happy.

I am concerned, however. Although Erin now flaunts a fabulously fresh, darker-sheen, shoulder-length coif, I noticed that her online promo photos only represent her early, slightly less fabulous look. To that I offer her an open invitation to come to Florida and allow me to set up a proper photo shoot with my longtime professional personal photographer. Heck, even if CNN is too cheap to foot the bill, I'll gleefully pony-up for the session myself, if that's what it takes to update and expand my now daily Google search options!

But even the "old" Erin is a pretty darn steamy look and my only real dilemma now is how soon I can get Jeff out of town so I can house-sit again. But this time, I'll offer him my service, free of charge, because we are, after all, friends.

-Chris